We’re sorry to hear Apple has begun to receive some fallout over a slight malfunction with your newest smartphone…

So we’ve gotten together, and our collective brainpower has yielded a new deduction which you may have not yet considered.

Fourth time’s a charm, asshole! Ergo, take the 4th generation iPhone and kindly insert it where the sun doesn’t shine! Btw, there IS an app for that, but it’s an android app using Flash technology, so you’ll just have to view this shitty diagram. Sucks, huh?

Your pals,

P.S.: You know, on second thought, please forgive our childishness. =) After all, at one time we were all friends! In light of that, we’ll keep your shit on speed dial so it vibrates every time we call.