As the iPad 2 officially hits shelves and millions around the world shuffle through lines and elbow down the aisles for the next big thing in technology, it’s time to take a step back to see how our behaviors and our lives have been changed by our favorite electronics.  Are we doomed to be enslaved by the very things we create?!  Ahhh!!!!

If your computer is consuming you, don’t panic!  You’ve got friends on Facebook…

Is it really dead?  Or just sleeping…….

What happens when you take a video game with crap graphics but based upon a cool premise and turn it into a movie? You get Terminator Salvation: The Machinima Series. We were already fans of Moon Bloodgood after the real movie Terminator: Salvation came out, and especially so after her Maxim shoot. Unfortunately, this effort doesn’t quite do her beauty justice—but, besides having to also pay for that experience, that’s our biggest complaint.  The script is tight enough, so, we hope enough popularity gathers around it to perhaps spawn a real film, a TV series or more of these featuring Moon Bloodgood for reals with the badly-needed, much-improved graphics. The bright side is, as a video game, Terminator Salvation is perfect for that old fart in your life. Enough of our yammering, see for yourself…

Terminator Salvation (PS3,XBOX 360, PC)

If you like to shoot shit, blow shit up and have your buddy along to help, this game is for you. However, if you like to see severed limbs flying around as the result of you pulling the trigger, you may want to pass as this is the light beer to your Guinness. But you should give it a whirl first because even though the graphics are dated (like your face!) the story is cool, the machines are tough, plentiful and badass, and Moon Bloodgood is in it as Blair Williams. Oh, and if you secretly wish your best bud were a girl, you’re in luck—he has to play as Blair! Just buy it, you old coot. It’s certainly good enough for you to blow a whole night trying to win it—on the easy level. : p

This film, based on great video game of the same name, will likely be shunned by the uptight critics.  But it’s probably just perfect for the PBR swilling, Call of Duty playing, regular guys who are just looking for a little entertainment between wings at Hooters and shots at the Stumble Inn.  Plus, it’s from Walt Disney Pictures, so it’s bound to be packed with plenty of swash buckling action a la Pirates of the Caribbean.  Don’t believe us?  Go see it.  Let us know how it is, not like we have the clout to get an advance screener.

Official website

Play: Red Dead Redemption (PS3, Xbox 360)

This game, developed by the same studio that created Grand Theft Auto,  should be called Grand Theft Auto: Wild West.  Because that’s what it is (which is fine by us).  In fact, we don’t care what you call it.  It’s a helluva time.

Buy Red Dead Redemption from Amazon

Read: Matterhorn: A Novel of the Vietnam War by Karl Marlantes

Matterhorn is a gritty, in your face tale of the Vietnam War by a soldier who lived it.  The author draws off his own experience in the bush and weaves a story so engrossing you will have trouble putting it down.  This book is good enough to be called Amazon’s book of the month for March 2010.  What?  You don’t read books without pictures?  Don’t worry, we are sure someone will pick up the film rights to this one.  Until then, just continue to play ‘Army’ with your GI Joe figures and wondering why you got passed over for that big promotion.

Get Matterhorn: A Novel of the Vietnam War at Amazon

Watch: Kick-Ass

Did you ever wish, when you were a kid, that you could don a superhero outfit, go around fighting crime, and post them on the internet, becoming an overnight internet sensation?  No?  They didn’t have the internet when you were a kid?  You’re old.  This movie is not for you.  The rest of you should go see this new film based on the hit comic book series from Marvel, and starring Nick Cage.

kickass-themovie.com

Play: Splinter Cell Conviction (PC, Xbox 360)

Sam Fisher is back and he’s pissed!  What does that mean?  No sneaking around the bad guys this go around.  All bets are off as Sam tries to find his daughter’s killer.   Plus, a killer separate coop story guarantees that you will get ample play time out of this game.  Let the bodies hit the floor!

Buy it at amazon

Work: Adobe Creative Suite 5

Adobe has finally released a new version of their must have design tool set.  This time, they scoff at Apple by allowing you to convert Flash directly to iPhone apps.  Unfortunately, Steve Jobs scoffed back and in an unprecedented act of hostility has said developers cannot use said feature.  iPhone apps aside, we are sure there are plenty of other reasons to pony up $2,500 for this software package.   Aren’t there?

Dude, when you were like, 7, there was nothing more kickass than having your own Green Machine. The name was right, the design was like nothing you’d ever seen and it was wipeout city as soon as you got it out of the box. It’s like the marketing gods got something reeeaally right for once…. instant street cred. Sometimes, we wish cool things like this were just as sweetly ubiquitous as this bad boy when you’re all grown up. So what the hell, Wham-O!!? Where you at?

What to watch – Date Night

Wondering what movie you and that special someone should catch this weekend?  Jeez, what did they need to name it?  ’Get boozed up, bring your girl here, then drag her back to your place to bang’?  I guess some people really need it spelled out for them.  Steve Carrell and Tina Fey are always good for some cheap laughs, and Shawn Levy didn’t do so bad himself with ‘Night at the Museum’.  Go see it, but don’t blame us if the penis in popcorn trick results in a lawsuit, sicko.

See the trailer

What to play – Red Steel 2 (wii)

Admittedly, the first Red Steel didn’t exactly wow the Wii fanbase.  However, this iteration ups the style, graphics, and adds one to one controller mapping.  Finally giving us a reason to dust off the Wii that has sat dormant for some time.

Get it at Amazon

What to drop – iPad

Are you ready for the ‘death of the laptop’?  This device, much heralded by the press and Apple fanboys alike has us wondering why we are still toting around our gigantic, useless notebooks.  However, the steep price tag and form factor that’s perfect for #2 usage has us wondering how long until we drop it in the toilet.

Where else?  apple.com/ipad

What to Watch: Clash of the Titans

The classic movie remade in 3D!  What’s not to love?  OK, the glasses are silly and will probably keep you from getting laid this weekend.

What to Play: Risk 1959

For the 50th anniversary Winning Games has reproduced the original version of this classic turn-based war game.  It includes all the original graphics, wooden pieces, and individual storage pieces.  It’s only available for a limited time, so get it while you can!

Get it on Amazon

What to Compute: Asus G73JH

This amazing laptop boasts the Intel I7 processor, up to 8 GB of RAM, and a full TB HDD.  Now, we aren’t sure what all that means, but we are guessing you can probably watch porn on it.

Asus G73JH

What to play: God of War 3 (PS3)

The third installment of this blockbuster series promises more of the hack and slash action as the hero, Kratos, attempts to defeat yet another immortal diety (presumably).  Didn’t play the first two?  Watch the God of War stories on youtube.

Get God of War 3 plus $10 credit at amazon.com

What to watch: The Pacific (HBO Sundays @ 9 PM )

Don’t have HBO?  Get it.  With Tom Hanks & Steven Spielberg producing, this WWII miniseries focusing on the oft neglected Pacific Theater promises to be every bit as riveting as Band of Brothers.

Watch the first episode online for free!

What to read: Kick-Ass (Hardcover)

Kick-Ass follows the exploits of an ordinary high school student as he attempts to fight crime as superhero ‘kick-ass’ with the help of his cellphone and an online following spurred on by his YouTube videos and MySpace account.  Creepy, it’s like someone watched your dreams and made them into a comic!  It’s set to be a movie starring Nicholas Cage.  Read it in now before Cage shamelessly destroys another comic book franchise.

Get Kick-Ass at amazon.com